Oi… ….. *sighhh* i need to breathe….seriously.. i dont think i can do this. but i have too…. but ugh fuck. it hurts. i miss everything about you. i miss you so much, its tearing me apart. i’m not even kidding. this is so hard. I need you.
i guess its bed time.. :/ gotta long dey’ahead. g’night tumblin’ world. tyr out*
“The delectation you provide me with could never be replaced. The satisfaction in knowing you love me for who I really am, Who I really need to be. My inner peace and sanctity are unshakable, as long as I’m with you.
I really do thank my lucky stars.
I love you sweetheart. ox”—Mr. Tyler J Fidelity G.
Sometimes i wish i had the guts to be a coward. :/
I feel like crap…… I managed to stay up untill 7pm, after pulling an all nighter, now I’m alone in my basement, alone, becuase I woke up at like 1:30 am. There’s nothing to do, nothing is on TV, I never really noticed how annoying black comedy is at 4 30 am. like shhuuuutt uupp Jamie Fox wtf man. Anyways, I have to be up in about 3 hours, I need a job.. I know I wont be able to sleep, but I’ll take my babe’s advice and just lay there, to atleast relax. ughhh my body and mind feels completely worn, I can’t stop thinking… And I’m starting to be stupid with my thoughts. :/ I feel like i dont want to do this anymore, this….this……….. this life, this life that i never wanted. I didnt ask to be born, it just happened. *sigh…okay enough. I eyes are getting misty now, lump in my throat, worked myself up, I’m gunna go lay down.
Ponders hmm- Freestyle?- …So aww shit, imma flip my lid, i think i just did, cant seem to get rid, livin’ in this body, its rocky, its shocking, this guy trapped inside, dieing to get out, to make my mark in this world as i 2 step about. Now its 2010, workin on my transition, transmission, desexualization.. my revelation, this aint no abbreviation, no more humiliation! this is about my reputation! Son, Boy, Father, Gentlemen, I’m human, I’m me, imma citizen, all of a sudden.. I’ll be fittin right in. Can’t wait for my future, and its only 2010… What what what?? its 2010! Way back when, just holdin my Zen, just spittin this shit- with a ballpoint pen, listening to our song time and time again, I thought i loved you then. ;) Could never comprehend the significance of my Baby, and i know your all gunna hate me, but its just me and my lady, i know i sound crazy but i’m thinkin just myabe i love you Jennifer, untill the very end… and its only…2010- …::Cant wait for the future. <3
So oi, tis my babies first day back at school, i hope shes having a good day! I can’t stop thinking about her, its crazy that after all this time she still gets me, i cant wait to spend aall weekend with her, i reckon there is no better feeling then coming home to the one you love, trust me, no.better.feeling. :) see ya soon babylove xox